Friday, 3 June 2016

Two and a half men

I'm on a diet at the moment. I don't like being on a diet. You see, I'm not hugely overweight or anything, but with baby number two being born in August, I thought it might be smart to lose some weight and gain more energy before chaos descends on my household once more.

I don't like being on a diet. I don't even have to do it properly. Essentially, if I give up all my favourite things - beer, bread and cheese - then the pounds drop off.

Let's talk about a little indiscretion here.

Get thee behind me, delicious refreshments

There may or may not have been beers consumed at the weekend's music festival. Pulled pork buns with cheese might also have been sampled by person or persons unknown.

I have now spent the entire week trying to (unsuccessfully) undo the damage.

Now, let's look at Article One.

Celeste Chapman: eater of dessert with impunity

It was yesterday, as I watched her eating a jam doughnut with so much gusto that I thought she was going to put her head into it, that I realised that not only does she not care about the calories, but that she doesn't have to care. She can eat whatever she likes with impunity because it's all burned off by the running around and growing.

That's so unfair.

Closing thoughts: I should be able to eat and drink whatever I want with absolutely no consequences and I will be going on a selective hunger strike until that happens.

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