Sunday, 26 June 2016

Cooking with Daddy

Please follow all steps closely.

Step 1) Decide to make French Onion soup from scratch while your spouse is elsewhere and you are in sole charge of the toddler, otherwise known as Trouble.

Glitter? Glue? Bucket? See you in 10 minutes

Step Two) Chop a biblical amount of onions (Note to self: check for onion quantities in Bible)

After chopping all these, I never want to be near an onion again

Step Three) Gently cook the onions for ten minutes.

That the onion barely fits in the pan will definitely not be a problem later

Step Four) Realise that your toddler's gone very quiet and go to investigate.

Glitter stuck successfully to the bucket, but also to carpet, nostrils, pyjamas, etc

Step Five) Smell burning onions, return and pick out the burnt bits.

'Burnt' is valid as a flavour, isn't it?

Step Six) Try to make a ridiculous amount of stock, realise that the situation is rapidly spinning out of control and breathe a sigh of relief when your wife arranges to run distraction.

Shh...she's forgotten all about you...

Step Seven) Realise that there's no way that all of the stock you made is going to fit in the frying pan.

Uh oh...

Step Eight) Keep pouring in the stock anyway until it overflows the pan onto the hob.

Cleaning the hob is a problem for future Mike!

Step Nine) Serve with bread and cheese and look on in horror as your toddler just eats the bread and cheese.

Was it worth it? No. No, it was not.

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