Red wire or blue wire?

Ah. I think we've hit the terrible twos. In helpful preparation for adolescence, Celeste has started seesawing between her useful joyous, cheeky self and an irritable, tearful sulk. Sample dialogue:

ME: There we go! Hair all brushed up and beautiful. I've got rid of all of the tangles and...

CELESTE: *tearing up* Put them back!

ME: What? I...

CELESTE: *starting to sob* Put back tangles!

ME: What? I can't put back...

CELESTE: *sobbing* My tangles! Put back!

And so on. Although this has made getting ready in the morning a minefield of upset, it has given me a great idea for a book I could write:

Cut the red wire or blue wire? Nope - it's a trick: they're both booby-trapped!

I thought these might be suitable chapter titles:

• Dinner Time: Give Peas a Chance
• Bedtime Routines: Brushing a Tooth, the Whole Tooth and Nothing But That Tooth
• Buridan's Ass: Picking between the red dress and the blue dress
• Hobson's Choice: Dealing with a broken banana
• When Negotiations Fail: Duck and Cover

(I guess my sense of humour failure didn't last that long after all!)