Monday, 12 December 2016

Outbreak: Patient One

Report filed: 12/12/2016 2101 GMT

Patient name: 'A'

Point of infection: Household - cuddles with Patient Zero

Initial symptoms: Smiling, wiggling, slight diarrhoea

Later symptoms: Giggling, smiling, wiggling, copious neon diarrhoea

Remedial measure: Dosed with milk and cuddles

Recommended measures: Continue quarantining household, shoot-on-sight policy authorised for escapees, await further developments

Special note: With fifty per cent of the household infected and the washing machine running at capacity, morale is low amongst the uninfected adults. Recommend airdrop of wine and chocolate.

No...I'm not being ridiculous, though a survey of adults in my house revealed that 50% of them thought I was a hypochondriac.

No comments:

Post a Comment