SCENE - DRIVING CELESTE BACK FROM BALLET

SCENE - DRIVING CELESTE BACK FROM BALLET

CELESTE: I love Mummy. She's my best friend.

ME: That's nice. What about Aurora?

CELESTE: She's my best friend too. I love her.

There is a LONG PAUSE.

ME: Is there anyone else you love?

There is another LONG PAUSE.

CELESTE: No. I don't love you because you make jokes all the time.

ME: Ah. Can I love you anyway?

CELESTE: Daddy, I've got thousands of friends. I don't need you.

I start eyeing up the LAYBY as a potential DUMPING GROUND.

They grow up so fast...

SCENE: Very AM, Kitchen, Breakfast

SCENE - Breakfast, very AM:

DADDY is cooking breakfast. AURORA is eating finger foods from her high chair's tray.

AURORA: Uh-oh!

Dictionary Corner

TROJAN WEE (Noun)

Copacabana: A Ballad for Aurora

One, two, three...

Hit it!

Baby Chapman's video

I've finally gotten through editing the 4D ultrasound video, adding a few amateurish touches and setting it to music. Yes, it's an incredibly soppy choice of music, but I was watching my new baby daughter smile, open her little mouth and pucker her lips, so I'll do what I damn well like!

It obviously goes without saying that although Ellie Goulding and I are BFFs, I do not own the rights to the music.

Baby Chapman 2: The New Batch

If you don't want to see what a baby looks like, turn away now!

Wow. Just wow. Today, we all had a big family outing to Bury St Edmunds and had a 4D scan done of Baby Chapman II. This isn't what frequenters of theme park cinemas might think it is (ie. surround sound, getting blasted in the face with jets of air and amniotic fluid) nor is it a 5D scan as sci-fi readers might imagine (pictures of your baby from alternate realities). It is an amazing 3D moving image of the incoming hurricane.

Chilling with her arms up by her ears and, apparently, a thick head of hair already!

A smiling...pirate?

This baby is already so wriggly that the attendant was having to chase her round and round with the probe. I suspect that explains the smirk on photo #2.


Celeste had her attention torn between the free crayons and the video feed of her new sister, but behaved very well. At the end, she even lectured the attendants on how important it was to clear up after yourself. Now all I need to do is train her how to hold a chimney brush and I'm set.


The nice lady also confirmed that the baby is indeed a girl, which is an enormous relief as I can no longer find the receipts for all the pink baby clothes I've been buying.


There is video, which I'd like to put up, but it's 30 minutes long and much of it is pretty fuzzy. I'll gather up the good bits and post them up on a different day.

Festival (Part Two)!

LeeStock festival 2016 Part Two: So after Celeste's mammoth sleep, we managed to rush back for a last little bit of festival. Celly insisted that we bring along her 'instunents' - her word - so that she could play along with the people on stage. She tried singing "Baa Baa Black Sheep" along with the musicians too, but it turned out that none of them were doing a nursery rhymes set. Celeste and Lyn shared their first ever waffle on a stick, which Celly gobbled most of before escaping under the table. I just carried on my one man mission to empty the beer tent of all cider and cider-like products.

 (Lyn and I worked out that she's been to more 'Eels' gigs than I've been to gigs total. I'm such a dweeb!)

Festival!

LeeStock Festival 2106 Part One:

So far this morning, we've been at LeeStock 2106 (Celeste's asleep right now so part two will be later). It's been marvellous so far - the music's very good and the cider's coma strength - and as soon as Celly wakes up, we're going right back. It's her very first festival, which gives her an average of one festival every two years - not bad. I, on the other hand, have gone to 3 festivals in 33 years, which averages 1 festival per 11 years. Conclusion: Celeste is cooler than me. Further conclusion: Maths is not my friend.

Lyn has been to dozens more than me, so I know that she's cooler than me and, thinking about it, even the baby on the way has averaged 1 festival in -3 months. I am actually the least cool of my family :'(

Saturday Morning Happy

#SaturdayMorningHappy

#Can'tFindMyCamera

#ScrewItJoinIn